is pretty much that it gave me an excuse to moan about certain aspects of it ad nauseum. sorry people but i’m about to again.
apparently being pregnant means that i can no longer eat large meals, and for me -someone who eats small meals normally - that means eating tiny portions. if i do eat a large meal i feel woozy. if i also feel cold my heart races i feel sick and about to pass out. JOY.
not only this but i have to eat all the time because i can only eat little bits. so if i want to go out for a few hours i have to plan to have a meal before i go, take something with me and be prepared to have something as soon as i am back. it’s enough to force you into sitting on the couch surrounded in snacks and giving up on having an actual life.
just another reason why i think there is a conspiracy about what a joyous, natural phenomenon pregnancy is, with the aim being to keep people procreating.
1) direct line’s swathe of adverts with people who “don’t believe” the deals they are offering. the god awful woman in the pink polo shirt and that stupid moustache man and worst the van driver who thinks his “mate” is winding him up on the phone. oh just bugger off none of it has anything to do with insurance
2) any comedy central advert. watch comedy central for 1 hour and you will see the same 3 adverts three times each. and how long have they been running their oh so hilarious one with the stills of podcast comedians discussing kim jong-un. even if it was funny the first time i’m unsure anyone will still be laughing one month and 6000 airings later.
“A real education takes place, not in the lecture hall or library, but in the rooms of friends, with earnest frolic and happy disputation. Wine can be a wiser teacher than ink, and banter better than books.”—
yea, this only works if you have friends with an IQ similar to that of Stephen Fry. which basically doesn’t happen, because 99% of the people on earth are morons. all wine and banter leads to in these cases are a lot of stupid posts on facebook. i’m sure that this quote from an intelligent man will be used as a delightful excuse for university students to continue being lacklustre though.
fuck off headache fuck off headache fuck off headache fuck off headache fuck off headache fuck off headache fuck off headache fuck off headache fuck off headache fuck off headache fuck off headache fuck off headache fuck off headache fuck off headache fuck off headache fuck off headache fuck off headache fuck off headache
it’s there for 2 days then it goes away for 2 days then it’s back for 2 days and so the cycle continues. hormones suck.
so, been awake all night due to alarm across the road going off
and for all of those wondering how to remedy such a thing in the middle of the night the answer is as follows: find the shop on facebook and call the guy’s mobile.
that’s right, don’t call the police as they will turn up, peer into the window and not be able to do anything as they don’t have contact details for the owner.
don’t call glasgow city council’s out of hours noise line because it only operates to 3am and it’s now 3.01 and the guys who can access the database are all gone home to snooze in their quiet, alarm-free neighbourhoods.
don’t go out in the freezing fucking fog to search in vein for ANY contact details on the front of the shop because not only are there none, there isn’t even a fucking NAME on the front of it (the sign on the door will helpfully display as ‘open’ though)
so in conclusion do an extensive google search through all the old companies to reside in the location until you find a name you DON’T recognize, click on the link, find no contact details or website to speak of but… lo and behold… a facebook page, with a mobile number. and when the guy on the other end - who seems very much awake and cheery for 3am - says “oh! this is the first i’ve heard of it”, try and resist the urge to scream OF COURSE IT FUCKING IS!!!!